It was back in the first year when I first tried to propose to her. It was the fresher’s night. She looked like an angel in the white chudi she wore that night. My eyes were moving like they had some motion sensors inserted inside her. The letter in my shirt pocket is pounding my heart and I can’t wait to give it to her and express my feelings. She finished her dinner and was waiting for her car all alone in the parking lot. I saw her there and started walking towards her. My whole body was vibrating with fear and my heart was beating at jet speed. I tried my level best to stay still and walk steadily. I was nearing her and just when I thought the job was almost done I realized that the letter in my pocket was missing. By the time I started my search mission she left the place.
I decided to try again after a long time. This time in the second year during the annual week celebrations. I was one of the organizers and I had a chance to interact with the participants. She is interested in extra curricular activities and of course I was there to help her. This time I tried to use the practicing room as the place. This time I confirmed that the letter was in my pocket. I saw her relaxing in the chair after practice. I made sure that she was alone and started towards her. The Vibrations started again in my body. I tried my level best to stand steadily and all of a sudden I saw the dean entering the room. I saw him shouting at me. Donno why but he was really serious on me. Then I realized that I had to be at the presentation organized for the sponsors. He was very angry and cancelled all the programs organized by me. Even the participants turned red on me for wasting all their practice. I saw her face totally disappointed and thought she would never like me again.
The next time I had a chance accidentally. It was during the Industrial tour organized by our college management. We are on our way for a sight seeing in Manali. There we had a horse ride on the snowy hills. On our way back there was a shortage of horses and I had to wait for the horses to return. I was all alone by myself as all my friends could grab their places on the horses. I looked around to see if there was anyone left. There I saw her sitting alone having a coffee. This time there my body is vibrating not because of fear but because of the cold. I felt like it could be the right time to express my feelings as no one around understands our language and there would be no problem if she yells at me or scolds me. I tried to finish the smoke that I lit and started towards her and by the time I reached her I heard the horse guy yelling at me to come back as a horse just arrived and I can go on it. I asked him to take her instead and lit another smoke.
And then I reached the final day of the final year. The farewell party has started and I was there again totally dressed up with the flowers in my hand and letter in my pocket. That was the last chance to express my feelings. The speeches part of the party just ended and I saw people greeting each other. I stood up and started searching for her. I saw her at the coroner with her friends dressed in a red saree. She was looking very beautiful. I picked up the flowers and was getting ready for the mission. To my surprise this time I saw her approaching towards me. I was very much excited and the same old vibration thing started again. I saw her smiling at me and felt thrilled. She was nearing me and my vision went almost blank and the next second I saw her greeting a friend next to me. He introduced her to me as his girl friend. My pounding heart broke and I could imagine the letter in my pocket turning red with the gushing blood. I left the party early that night, Spent many sleepless nights before I recovered from that incident and then only I realized that Never should a person be late to say I LOVE U.
(I would like to dedicate this post to one of my best friends and his ****** whose obscure story made me write this post)